Ah life. You either move with the roller-coaster that it is, or you drown in the pool trying to tread water. I think I'm on the roller-coaster right now. No, nothing dramatic has happened, but just enough to make me want to quit teaching and stay holed up at home. I really used to enjoy teaching but it's just getting worse and worse. But, according to everyone around me, I can't quit yet. I've got until the end of the school year until my tenure is approved and then the job security is a bit better. But I think I'm just getting sick of the monotony of Junior High. You can't explore anything indepth and you really can't expect much out of them. You try to have them excel and parents explode. You don't do enough, parents complain. It's a no win situation.
Jakob's show ends this week. THANK HEAVENS!! I have been single for the past 3 months. Which wasn't always a bad thing. It was more like having a roommate that I rarely saw and when I did, we didn't really talk. Wednesday is his last show and we've already discussed how he's going to give back all the costume stuff as quickly as he can that night and make them work on it. I'm not too happy with the "company" this time around. It seems they have a double standard when it comes to their actors. One of the actors is the "producer and owner" of the company. She gets to ad-lib all she wants when she has to take over for one of the others. However, when Jakob strays even slightly from the script, he gets an earful afterwards. I've recorded him during 2 shows (bored out of my mind) and at least we've got something, but I'll be happy once this run is over.
Speaking of that company, she wants me to costume a show for them in February. I have said that I'll think about it, but I'm really thinking against it. I quoted her rather high on purpose. If they don't like it, they can go somewhere else (which in my mind would be ideal). They are doing a take on Cinderella but are having the two step sisters being played by men and a ditzy fairy god mother. I'd rather not have to deal with costuming very large men (which these two are) in drag. I'd only do it if the money was right. Shallow? Perhaps.
It seems that everyone around me is talking about their "dreams" and "going for it" and "no one can stand in their way". Yes they can. It's called living expenses, unless you're going to be that person living from couch to couch, not knowing where their next meal is going to come from. Even down to the bare bones if you want to make it and be able to have stuff for the future as well--and lets face it, you're going to need all you can get right now with the state that this country is in--you can't always drop your "job" for your "dream" and make it work. Would I like to? Sure. Am I going to? No way in hell. Unless something is going to FOR CERTAIN give me my paycheck at the end of the month that covers all my expenses and allows me to save something for the future, I'd rather have a job that I hate and my "dream" as a hobby but I'm covered for what I need.
I'm not into Halloween this year. I'm really not. I sewed a little for Jakob last night but that was because if I didn't, there was no way that he could be able to get what he wants done. He's still afraid of my sewing and serger machines. Afraid may not be the right word, but it's something. Not planning on dressing up. I'll probably just wear one of my geeky tee-shirts, jeans, and converse and say that I'm a fan girl or something. Comfortable and pragmatic.
There really hasn't been much else going on. I go to work, I drive home, I stay with the cats, then drag the carcass off to bed and start again the next day. I really wish I had something fun to write about.
4 comments:
Adam's show just ended too, but now he's just dived right back into another one. Here's another 3 months of being single, eh?
As for dreams, yeah, I hear you. Adam certainly can't quit his day job to do what he loves full-time. I could probably make more working at Wal-Mart, but I'd be a miserable wreck and probably not home enough for Darcy (and not sure who the heck would watch her if my shifts didn't work out right with when I needed to get her from school or whatever). So it's either stay home and write and design or go work retail somewhere part time. Once things are rolling, I'm pretty sure it will cost me less and I'll make more just staying home, but we have a kid to factor into all that and that makes it all a completely different kettle of fish, I guess. I certainly am going going for my dreams, and so is Adam, but we also have to go for it like two three-legged tortoises on a huge mountain because we still have to live and eat too.
I'm feeling the drudgery of doing the same thing every day as I'm trying to get all my books back up for sale. It's been a nightmare, and as for Halloween ... bleh. I wish I liked it more!
*HUGS*
I hope you can get through this year and get your tenure and then move on if you can!
Yeah. I hear you. The dreams thing is really hard for me. I've just had too many people saying that they're dropping everything that allows some stability in life to pursue the dream and are willing to take down their families with them. They're telling me to do the same thing and I'm not about to do that.
I totally understand what you are talking about though. I hope it didn't seem like I was attacking you. You two are one of our closest friends (and someone who understands some of the "problems").
No, I didn't feel attacked, lol. I've seen the same trend happening and think it's fine to chase your dreams, but to use a lot of discretion doing it, especially if it affects others. :)
I'm so glad that Jakob's show is ending. I can't imagine how hard it must be to have him gone so often.
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