Finishing off the summer

So this summer I really haven't been doing all that much. Yes, it's only the end of July and in 3 weeks I go back to those little. . . . . .(not thinking of that yet. Find a happy place, find a happy place, find a happy place!)

Anyway, I'm doing the Springville Folk Festival again this year and I'm actually dreading it. Kind of sad huh? Every time I pull out the computer and open up the videos of the dance I'm supposed to be learning, I get just a few minutes in and then fail miserably. I've never had this much trouble learning a dance sequence. I get frustrated at not being able to do it and quickly shut off the video and eat a cookie or veggies or whatever happens to be within fridge reach. I get frustrated and sad and depressed every time I think about it. "Why, then, are you doing it?" you ask? I made a commitment at the beginning of April that I would do it and I don't want to back away from that commitment. I enjoyed my time last year but this year is turning out rather difficult. We have 2 rehearsals this week and then the shows start next week. We'll see how long I actually last before I cry uncle! I used to really enjoy dancing but I don't know what is happening. I see dancing and I get sad and on the verge of tears (like now as I'm writing this) and all I want to do is crawl into a dark hole and stay there. I guess I just don't feel comfortable in my own body anymore after gaining 20-30 pounds and 7 inches and it isn't coming off!!!!!!!

I didn't do a film this summer. . . not really anyway. We had grand plans to start filming a project that Jakob and I co-wrote, but that never got off the ground. I was asked to step in and help Direct on 2 projects, but they weren't exactly projects that got me excited. I helped out 2 friends. That's it. I don't think the final products will be all that great, but that is now up to the editor. I wanted to get a couple of costuming gigs under my belt but nothing came of my poking and prodding people about what they wanted. They all ended up using another lady. I did find out that someone (who I used to have some respect for but is now on my black list) was saying that I wasn't a person who you wanted on your shoot and talking a bunch of crap and that it was "of your own best interest not to use Melissa". Believe me, if I come face to face with him anytime soon, he's going to get a earful. Either that or he's going to get the "glare" (as Court likes to put it).

We were able to put some organization in my vanity area of our bedroom. I found some fun kitchen spice racks at Tai Pan Trading and decided that they could be used on the walls in my bedroom to hold lotions and body sprays and hair supplies and other things like that. It took a ton of stuff off the counter and they look really nice. They're black rod iron and match what my plan for our bedroom colors are going to be. And talking about our bedroom, we noticed something weird happening with the paint by our window and I figured out that water (and a fair amount of it) had come under the paint, made it shift, and now part of the wall is falling apart. We have no idea where the water came from so we have a water damage and mold person coming in this week to figure out what is going on. I'm thinking this is going to get expensive. Luckily we have home owners insurance. We'll figure out something.

This post has become rather negative; sorry about that.