Gym buff? Not me

I have been lazy. There I said it. I have been extremely lazy. Since I stopped dancing full time, I let things go and my figure has suffered. Yes, many people who know me won't see too much of a difference, but I do (there is also a disaster of artificial hormones from 3 years ago that my body hasn't recovered from) and I don't like it. I like me and my personality but I don't like the shell that it's in. Is is alright to call it a shell? I guess that's the word I'm going to use right now. 

So earlier this summer we bought a gym membership. I never thought I'd be one of these people who goes to the gym at the end of the day but I have become that. Not after a lot of gnashing of teeth and some panic attacks. It took me almost a month after buying the membership to actually get myself into the gym. I don't really understand where my anxiety comes from but I would pull into the parking lot all ready to go in and PANIC! so I would sit in the car until it came down and when I would try to pull the door handle, the panic would come back so I would just drive home. Pathetic, isn't it. So finally I was able to take some calming tea before I went and I got myself in the gym. Luckily I think I go early enough in the afternoon that not too many people are around and that may help me in the long run. Also, Jakob is going to go about the same time I do and that may help.

But, because of almost 4 years of not really doing exercise, my body is revolting against the movement. A 30 minute moderate walk/jog plus stretching makes my hips and knees not happy for days after. Yes, I'm complaining because not being able to walk normally for days afterwards in not happy. 

My goal is to stick with it for the rest of the year and see how things go from there. 5 months should be a good amount of time to get me back into the groove of actually getting my butt moving again. Hopefully I'll be able to control these panic attacks enough to be able to attend a couple of dance classes for adults.

Wish me luck.